{"id":2327,"date":"2021-06-30T10:00:21","date_gmt":"2021-06-30T10:00:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spotlight.com\/?p=2327"},"modified":"2023-11-08T12:47:39","modified_gmt":"2023-11-08T12:47:39","slug":"returning-acting-after-setback-ben-mars","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spotlight.com\/news-and-advice\/the-industry\/returning-acting-after-setback-ben-mars\/","title":{"rendered":"Returning to Acting After a Setback"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ben Mars discusses the accident that led to a setback in his acting career, how he overcame it, and what the experience taught him.<\/h3>\n

In November 2019, I was severely injured in the most mundane circumstances.<\/p>\n

It happened on a Dartmoor walk on a cold, sunny Sunday at around 10.15am. I know that was the time because I was calculating how long the drive back to London would take.<\/p>\n

Except I wouldn\u2019t get home to London for another year and a half.<\/p>\n

My friend Alex and I were throwing Alan Partridge impressions back and forward – really bad ones, which sort of made it funnier. And then there was a jolt, like when you miss a step in the dark.<\/p>\n

I put my right leg out to correct myself and as my foot hits the ground there\u2019s a deep, disturbing crack inside my knee. I\u2019m tilting now – that leg giving way – time slowing down – little purple starbursts in front of my eyes. I fall onto the other leg.<\/p>\n

Another deep crack. Both give out from under me like snapped lollipop sticks.<\/p>\n

Shocked, I hit the wet ground.<\/p>\n

Heaving, insane pain bursts through me. I look at my legs. The knees are the wrong shape in my jeans. One leg stuck straight, the other slightly bent. I try very hard not to be sick.<\/p>\n

Alex calls 999 and an hour later, just as I was tipping into hypothermia, an ambulance crew stretchered me o\ufb00 Dartmoor in a haze of morphine and crinkly foil blankets.<\/p>\n

In Plymouth, a dispassionate A&E doctor told me that I\u2019d snapped both of my patellar tendons and wouldn\u2019t walk for at least 3-6 months. The patella tendons run from the kneecap to the shin. Without them we can\u2019t walk or stand. They\u2019re extremely strong and very hard to break, especially from such a simple misstep. What happened is extremely rare, but it has a name: A Spontaneous Bilateral Patellar Tendon Rupture.<\/p>\n

Orthopaedic surgeons operated a few days later. Heart hammering with anxiety I got into small talk with the Anaesthetist as he was preparing to knock me out. He asked the classic question,<\/p>\n

\u2018Have you been in anything I would have seen?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Casualty,\u2019 I replied.<\/p>\n

\u2018Oh! What did you do in Casualty?\u2019 he asked, squinting at my oxygen levels.<\/p>\n

I remember saying \u2018Um, I died\u2026?\u2019 before losing consciousness.<\/p>\n

The operation to reattach the tendons was an apparent success. I was taken by ambulance to Newcastle to recover under the care of my parents. My legs locked straight in a pair of torturous looking braces. I kept thinking of Forrest Gump.<\/p>\n

A few days later as they removed the bandages it became apparent there was a problem. The surgical wound on my right leg wasn\u2019t healing. It just kept bleeding. The knee that wasn\u2019t bleeding was so swollen and painful it wouldn\u2019t bend. The bleeding knee needed fresh dressings every two days. I was sent home for Christmas, a hospital bed set up in my parent\u2019s living room.<\/p>\n

Bedbound and \ufb01lled with painkillers and nauseating antibiotics I sank into a Tramadol world of \ufb01tful sleeps and woozy episodes of Frasier interspersed with injections in my stomach to stop blood clotting.<\/p>\n

Then Covid arrived, slowing the NHS to a crawl, eking out timelines and anxiety.<\/p>\n

Months later they discovered the problem. I was having a foreign body reaction to the sutures from the original operation. My body was trying to force the sutures out, which it couldn\u2019t. It took a further three operations to remove the o\ufb00ending sutures and graft skin from my thigh onto my right knee.<\/p>\n

September 2020 was the \ufb01nal operation. Both of my knees were heavily traumatised from surgery, but healing at last. I\u2019d been at my parent\u2019s house for almost 10 months. Unable to work, I was completely reliant on them for the second time in my life. As the pain lessened I started to pick up a little voiceover work again. A huge relief after no income for over a year.<\/p>\n

Recovery is mental as well as physical. I found the balance between focussing on recovery while also giving myself space. Space to feel, think and just be. I journalled. Called friends. \u2018This too shall pass\u2019 was a phrase I kept at the forefront of my mind. I kept connected with my agents, with social media and took each day at a time.<\/p>\n

My knees are going to take something close to a year to fully recover, but I\u2019m walking now, be it cautiously. Walking downstairs is all a bit ungraceful. Weirdly I can\u2019t jump.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m picking up acting again, despite my current issues with movement. I\u2019m worried that it\u2019ll stand against me – that it\u2019ll be a reason to put me on \u2018not this time\u2019 pile.<\/p>\n

My agent Sara has been unfailingly supportive, and is, as ever, unfazed. There\u2019s a choice to focus on what I can do, not what I can\u2019t. I\u2019m still an actor. I might not be cast as a gymnast anytime soon – but that\u2019s ok.<\/p>\n

The mythologist Joseph Campbell said that \u2018Where you fall, there\u2019s your treasure.\u2019 I didn\u2019t \ufb01nd gold in the mud of Dartmoor, but did \ufb01nd it in the trials afterwards. Recovery is not a straight line. It was and is important to celebrate every victory no matter how small (they\u2019re pretty much all small) and to not beat myself up when progress is gruellingly slow. I learned to advocate for myself and not to pile pressure on myself to get better faster. Patience is the key. Recovery takes the time it takes. All of those little victories add up and as of today, even limping, I have a level of mobility I couldn\u2019t imagine six months ago.<\/p>\n

Life is terribly precious and unpredictable. I\u2019ve got gratitude and humility for my scarred crunchy knees. And acting, doing a thing I love, has never made more sense.<\/p>\n

Finally there\u2019s the people. From the NHS, to industry colleagues, friends and family, to people who said hello on social media.<\/p>\n

Because what I didn\u2019t expect was to \ufb01nd out that should you stumble…should you fall, it\u2019s amazing how many hands reach out.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/span><\/em>Ben Mars<\/a>\u00a0is an actor based in London. Born in Newcastle, he trained at Mountview and has worked across film, TV, theatre, voiceover and presenting. Credits include\u00a0The Current War, Coronation Street, Vera, Casualty, Hollyoaks\u00a0<\/em>and\u00a0the Old Vic New Voices project.<\/em><\/p>\n

Headshot by Brandon Bishop<\/em><\/p>\n

Main image by Alex Froom<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ben Mars discusses the accident that led to a setback in his acting career, how he overcame it, and what the experience taught him. In November 2019, I was severely injured in the most mundane circumstances. It happened on a Dartmoor walk on a cold, sunny Sunday at around 10.15am. I know that was the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":50,"featured_media":3068,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[210,82,207,47],"class_list":["post-2327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-industry","tag-ben-mars","tag-first-person","tag-motivation","tag-wellbeing"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nReturning to Acting After a Setback | Spotlight<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.spotlight.com\/news-and-advice\/the-industry\/returning-acting-after-setback-ben-mars\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Returning to Acting After a Setback | Spotlight\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ben Mars discusses the accident that led to a setback in his acting career, how he overcame it, and what the experience taught him. 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