{"id":1544,"date":"2019-10-03T10:17:08","date_gmt":"2019-10-03T10:17:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spotlight.com\/?p=1544"},"modified":"2026-03-20T15:14:54","modified_gmt":"2026-03-20T15:14:54","slug":"how-to-deal-with-career-envy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spotlight.com\/news-and-advice\/the-essentials\/how-to-deal-with-career-envy\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Deal With Career Envy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Whilst we are (usually) almost always happy for fellow performers to land\u00a0a job, it’s still perfectly natural to feel a little envious. Here are some tips for dealing with career envy.<\/h2>\n

Resilience in the face of\u00a0repeated rejection<\/a>\u00a0is one of the most vital skills an actor can learn , which is why it\u2019s hammered home from your earliest school play auditions and beyond. What\u2019s less discussed, despite coming up almost as often, is managing feelings of jealousy. Which makes sense: complaining about how someone else got a role you think you\u2019re\u00a0way\u00a0<\/em>more deserving of isn\u2019t a great look. Uncharitable though feelings of envy can often seem outwardly, the truth is that everyone has them.<\/p>\n

Professional jealousy especially is something that everyone will feel, probably at multiple times during their tenure as a performer – research by the\u00a0Harvard Business Review<\/a>\u00a0found that it affects people at all levels, in all industries. Once you\u2019ve accepted that it\u2019s a normal, unavoidable reaction, the most important thing is dealing with it in a productive way that hurts neither you, your career, or those around you.<\/p>\n

Where Does Envy Come From?<\/h3>\n

Gore Vidal once quipped, \u201cWhenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.\u201d It\u2019s as catty and perceptive a one-liner as the writer ever made. Jealousy, in the most basic terms, comes from comparing your situation to someone else\u2019s and finding yours lacking. As a result, a potent cocktail of shame, a sense of injustice and a bruised ego is served!<\/p>\n

This feeling is only intensified when it\u2019s sparked by the good fortune of someone close to you. Competitiveness with friends can often be a source of motivation, especially in the early parts of your respective careers, pushing you to work as hard as you can to one-up each other. This is exactly what, evolutionary speaking, envy is designed to do: you\u2019re assessing your place in the food chain, and seeing what you can learn from those around you to improve your standing. It\u2019s just that, several millennia removed from when this instinct helped our cavemen forebears, it seems a little less helpful.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s What Not to Do<\/h3>\n

Jealousy has a way of warping your perception of things. In the grip of the green-eyed monster, someone else\u2019s success doesn\u2019t seem something to celebrate. Instead, you see their seized opportunity as one which has been swiped from you, when actually your next job could be just around the corner. Success is not a zero-sum game, although it can often feel like that in the acting game. Of the dozens of people who read for a part, the truth is only one person will get it, and everyone else has to suck it up.<\/p>\n

Bearing that in mind is the key to dealing with career envy successfully. Don\u2019t suppress your feelings – that\u2019ll only make things worse in the long run. That doesn\u2019t give you carte blanche to go running your mouth about the subject of your jealousy, however. The dramatic arts are a close-knit community, where your\u00a0reputation<\/a>\u00a0can matter as much as your acting ability. Admittedly, being able to tap into paranoid feelings of injustice and entitlement might make you a good fit with about 50% of Shakespeare\u2019s leading men, but nobody\u2019s going to want to work with you if they hear you\u2019re a bitter old grump.<\/p>\n

Remember: You\u2019re Only Human!<\/h3>\n

This doesn\u2019t mean you should beat yourself up about these feelings. It\u2019s actually a chance to practise some self-care. Social psychologist Abraham Tesser found envy is essentially a\u00a0self-defense mechanism<\/a>. When someone else succeeds it can feel as if you\u2019ve failed, and your self-esteem is damaged as a result. Your negative feelings radiate outwards as well as turning into criticism of yourself.<\/p>\n

Admitting to career envy means allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Whether you work through such feelings best by yourself, with a close friend or confidant, or even your agent, the tone you strike and the honesty with which you assess the emotions you\u2019re feeling are the key thing. After all, you\u2019re an actor; you\u2019re used to channeling your feelings when the moment\u2019s right, and realising when you need a different approach to the material you\u2019ve been given.<\/p>\n

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Uncharitable though feelings of envy can often seem outwardly, the truth is that everyone has them.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Accentuate the Positive<\/h3>\n

It\u2019s an opportunity to examine your own approach with a fresh point of view. Maybe they are doing something differently, and their approach to their career is something you can learn from. Depending on how well you know the person you\u2019re jealous of, you can even ask them directly for some tips on how to get ahead.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s also important to get a sense of perspective. Many traditional guides to dealing with jealousy suggest that you think about the actual implications of somebody else\u2019s success have on you. The end result in most fields is that another\u2019s triumph doesn\u2019t take away a chance for you to do well. That\u2019s what the industry is like: you get some gigs, you don\u2019t get others, but that doesn\u2019t mean you give up.<\/p>\n

Career Envy is a Two-Way Street<\/h3>\n

Recognising the roots of jealousy can be just as important when you\u2019re at the receiving end of it. After all, it works both ways. For every job you don\u2019t get, there\u2019s dozens more opportunities awaiting you. And for every job you do get, there\u2019s dozens of disappointed actors who were also up for the role! Having your excitement over securing a part dampened by a resentful fellow auditionee is a likely eventuality.<\/p>\n

The same advice applies, just in reverse. It\u2019s not something to be taken personally. In fact, it\u2019s something of a compliment to your skills. This individual wants what you have, and they\u2019re disappointed to not meet the standards you\u2019ve set. Act with magnanimity, always offer support if and when you can, and you can make it a positive experience for you both.<\/p>\n

What it boils down to is this: give yourself (and others!) a break. Pangs of career envy are a natural result of a competitive industry and human instinct. Finding a positive way of moving forward, and perhaps gaining a better understanding of your contemporaries, is much better than the alternative.<\/p>\n

Tom Baker\u00a0<\/em>is a freelance writer and ex-theatre employee based in East London. His work has appeared everywhere from film magazines to product descriptions of shampoo to the course pages of major universities. He’s heard most of the Doctor Who jokes about his name, but precious little riffing on\u00a0Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased)<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Whilst we are (usually) almost always happy for fellow performers to land\u00a0a job, it’s still perfectly natural to feel a little envious. Here are some tips for dealing with career envy. Resilience in the face of\u00a0repeated rejection\u00a0is one of the most vital skills an actor can learn , which is why it\u2019s hammered home from […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":55,"featured_media":2793,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[72,48,44,47],"class_list":["post-1544","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-essentials","tag-auditions","tag-mental-health","tag-starting-out","tag-wellbeing"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Deal With Career Envy | Spotlight<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Manage feelings of professional jealousy with these tips. 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